“I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.”  Mark 9:24

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.”  Psalm 37:7

Julia had wanted a Bitty Baby for a long time.  She knew Grandma planned to give her one on her fifth birthday.  When her father asked her what she would like, she enthusiastically replied, “A dolly with eyes that open and close, Daddy.  You know the kind with eyes that close when you lay them down and open when you pick them up, but don’t get me one, because Grandma is going to.”  As her birthday drew nearer, the suspense grew and so did her anticipation and doubt.  Two months before her birthday her mother said, “These are going to be the hardest, longest months of Julia’s life so far.”   Julia did believe Grandma would give her the dolly she yearned for, but at the same time she didn’t believe.   Two weeks before her birthday in a phone conversation with me, she sought reassurance, asking if I was going to give her a Bitty Baby.   “Oh, Honey,” I replied, “I can’t tell you because then it wouldn’t be a surprise.  In the meantime keep remembering how much Grandpa and I love you and how much we like making you happy.”   Even an hour before Julia opened her gift, she handed me an American Girl Postcard and said, “Grandma, this is to remind you about Bitty Baby.”   Bitty had long been purchased, wrapped, and hidden in my closet.  I will never forget Julia’s joy as she opened her present and the awe and wonder on her face as she lovingly looked down on the dolly she snuggled in her arms.

I’m a lot like Julia at  age five.  It doesn’t matter that I’m 63.   I believe God, but I don’t believe.   I know He loves me.   I know His promises are true and trustworthy but that doesn’t mean waiting for their fulfillment is any easier.  Waiting is hard work.

Oh, God, I do believe.    Help my unbelief.   Give me grace to wait patiently.   Remind me to keep remembering you love me.   Remind me that the surprise will be worth the wait.

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