I was born the daughter of an alcoholic, and the home I grew up in bred fear. I learned to avoid fear by control. That need to control everything threatened the harmony in my marriage, but God rescued my marriage by calling me to become Sarah’s daughter, to become like her by doing what was right and not giving way to fear. (See I Peter 3.)
What did Sarah do that was right? How did Sarah not give way to fear? She obeyed Abraham, her husband, when he made a choice that put her in a fear producing situation. (See Genesis 12:10-20.) God delivered Sarah from that situation miraculously, for Sarah’s hope was in God, not in Abraham.
I became more quiet and gentle in my soul and in my relationship with my husband, as I became more acquainted with the trustworthiness of of my God and transferred the wellspring of my hope from my husband to him. That hope enabled me to yield to my husband, as to the Lord and for the Lord’s sake. I learned to first assertively speak the truth in love to my husband about decisions before us and then to yield to him. Sometimes I have slipped back to the old way of control and disharmony, but the discomfort of fear and anxiety have been powerful motivators to return to the way of peace.